A Real Quick Empowerment Tip!Jun 03, 2022
The question I am about to ask you may seem a little strange at first, because it isn’t a popular concept with society in general. People are so used to blaming other people for what happens to them in life, or what doesn’t happen to them, that many people have completely lost sight of the fact that you are in charge of your mind, therefore, your results.
That’s one of what’s called the Presuppositions of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming, not Natural Language Processing). Effectively, these presuppositions are a bunch of convenient assumptions.
So, the question that I’m going to ask you is ‘are you at cause, or are you at effect?’
What do I mean...
Do you cause the effects in your life?
This is something that you should not only be familiar with for yourself, particularly as a Tech Leader where you are going to be facing the 'backlash' at times. It's also the real starting point for getting results in life for yourself, and also for facilitating change with others.
Often, Cause and Effect is written as C>E – the mathematical equation where Cause is greater than Effect.
Let’s have a look at the equation a little deeper.
If you are on the Cause side of the equation, then you are at cause for what happens in your life, and you create all of the effects.
You take responsibility for yourself.
And I don’t mean this in a negative way, I don’t mean that you blame yourself for everything negative thing that happens around you in an “it’s all my fault” kind of way.
What I’m talking about is that you know that you’re responsible for your actions and for getting what you want from life, in a positive, happy and motivated way.
The other side of this equation is the E, which is the Effect side, and that’s not a comfortable place to be.
That’s where we’re at the effect of other peoples’ actions.
The things outside of our control.
And that’s where most people are in our society at the moment.
Being at effect is where people say: "if only my partner earned more money, I wouldn’t have to go to that job I hate every day"; "if only the children were older then I could do that course I always wanted to do"; "If only my parents had believed in me more, then I would have done better at school"; "If only I was younger / older / was male / was female / had more money / had gone to a better school / had had the opportunities my older brother had / the economy was better”; because where they are now is not their fault. It’s someone else’s fault. Giving reasons and excuses are another way that people show that they are at effect.
Any time you’re meeting others, just listen to what they’re saying. Are they at cause, creating exactly what they want in their lives, and taking responsibility, or are they at the effect of everyone and everything else that is going on around them? Does life just happen to them?
So, think about it.
Do reasons and excuses get you results?
When you are 92, sitting in your comfy chair, and you look back on your life, is it those things that you did and the results that you got that are going to matter, or is it the reasons and excuses why you didn’t do them, and didn’t do what you wanted in life that will give you the most pleasure, most satisfaction of a life well lived?
Now, as a Tech Leader, when a Tech Team member comes to see you for help, they will be at effect, because if they were at cause, they wouldn’t need you to help them.
Your first job will be to talk about cause and effect, and get them to cause, and that alone will be life-changing for them.
Because when we push everything outside of ourselves, we are disempowered, we give our control away to someone else, and we are then at the mercy of how that turns out.
This is the mind-set that gets results.
Now, we know that we have all got to where we are today by the sum total of our conscious and unconscious choices.
Whether you choose to travel by train, or car tomorrow, whether you turn left or right out of the door, that will all affect what happens next. Which, in turn, will have an impact on something much further down the line. I'm sure you have
If something we deem to be unpleasant happens, and adopt the mind-set that you are at cause for it, and take the learnings for the situation, then that allows you to be empowered.
This is about saying ‘yes, this happened, but I’ve got to the point where I want to take back control, and I’m ready to move on’.
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